“Shocking, isn’t it? Can you take the heat? Try not to lose your cool!”
Bullman sighed. “So that’s why you have the electric eel, the soldering iron, and the snowball? Give me a break. This is embarassing.”
Doctor Awful shrugged. “I have a plasma shotgun behind me, if you’d prefer.”
Normally today’s story would be from a guest author, since it’s a Monday, but during the Contest period Mondays will be used for normal stories.
They arrived early, as usual.
They sat right at the very front, as usual.
They ordered a single glass of wine to share, as usual.
They heckled the performers relentlessly, as usual.
Unusually, the final act was a Chinese kung fu group.
After that, the hecklers stood in the back.
Every Thursday, Maxwell brought his Mum to Bingo. She never said thank you.
One week, she won fifteen thousand dollars. She took a limo home.
Next Thursday, she called him. “I need a ride to Bingo,” she said. “I spent all the money on clothes.”
He said, “Take the bus.”
“I prefer kleenexes, because they’re soft and comforting, like you.”
“I prefer napkins, because they’re tough and effective, like you.”
They had this conversation every single time they went out to dinner. Then she would sneeze, and he would spill on his shirt, and they would go home feeling rejuvenated.
Once there was a very ugly duckling. It got a lot of sympathy from people in the park, who thought it was so ugly that it rounded the far end of the spectrum and was somehow cute instead.
So the normal ducklings got jealous and beat the ugly duckling up.
Seven-year-old Kyle sold strawberries on Saturdays. He got exactly six customers every hour; he counted them.
Then one Saturday, between one o’clock PM and two o’clock PM, he had nine customers.
Three of them didn’t buy anything, though. “The more things change,” Kyle sighed, “the more they stay the same.”
“I hate cereal! I tell you this every. Single. Morning.”
“If you want waffles or bacon you’re free to prepare them yourself.”
“No way! That’s a MOM’s job!”
“Are you paying me?”
He was supposed to be. It cost thirty bucks an hour to get someone from Made Of Maids.
Scott and Christine were ecstatic. They were being inducted into the LEGO Sculptors Hall of Fame!
They took a LEGO cake out of their LEGO freezer, popped open a bottle of LEGO champagne, and celebrated together by watching the Discovery Channel on their LEGO TV.
“We’ve finally arrived,” they said.
Thanks to @Aaron416 for responding to my call on Twitter for prompts. I asked for two names and an emotion, and he responded with Scott, Christine, and ecstatic.
The ant on Amy’s desk grew even bigger.
Amy looked around. No one seemed to notice.
The ant stared at Amy with its dinner plate-sized eyes, then sprouted wings and flew towards Mrs. Spencer, who screamed. Amy smiled.
”Do you find biology amusing, Amy?” Mrs. Spencer asked with a frown.
Emaan, 13, loves to write!
No one in Joel’s family knew the difference between alligators and crocodiles, so he decided to find out for himself.
Joel stalked Florida’s swamps, taking pictures and making notes. After several long, hard weeks, he had his answer:
The alligators liked eating his legs, while the crocodiles preferred his arms.