After long days of deposits, withdrawals, and balance inquiries they often felt dirty when they got home, so they liked to race each other to the bathroom to play the “Who Can Get the Cleanest?” game.
She always claimed she had won, but he liked to make her prove it.
Editor’s Note: Did you spot the double pun in the title?
We bumped one another in the mall.
“Well excuse me,” she pouted.
But I didn’t. Her tone, her look, and her behaviour were a sad excuse for civility, so I excused myself from the situation.
Satisfied, I proceeded to the next entry in my Word-Practice Dictionary: excycloduction would be harder.
It had been a fantastic idea, in theory.
For months they had lived together in harmony, sharing a common home and a common purpose.
Then the new litterbox arrived. From that day forward, it was every cat for himself.
Except when they were puppeteering Obama. They still did that together.
Jimmy always brought tater tots to school. Worse, he flaunted them.
That made him a target.
Ryan drew the plans up, Kevin swiped the locker keys, Megan played the decoy, and Aiden prepped the route to the hideout.
But Brandon forgot to bring the ketchup, so they tattled on him.
This story is based on a title suggested by a participant in a 50-word stories live-writing session.
He fell to his knees and held his hands to his chest, praying earnestly to the Lord.
He sobbed and cursed as they lowered the casket into the ground.
The nurse gently took his arm and led him back inside.
“Don’t worry, Mr. Fredrickson,” she said. “We’ll get you another goldfish.”
Laura Chester is a sixth form student hoping to go to university to study Creative Writing.
“Our customer service is our greatest asset!” Rosco explained to the customer.
“That’s sort of a… strange slogan for a toilet paper wholesaler,” the woman suggested hesitantly.
“We don’t wipe your bottoms for you or anything,” Rosco clarified.
She looked relieved.
He added, “But we do offer complimentary instructional videoconferencing!”
“Granny, can I borrow your–”
“Hush, child,” said Granny Gramgrams. “West Fallingdown is on!”
Sonny was forced to construct his denture polisher without reference to actual dentures.
Later tests were… “unsuccessful.” But the polisher’s severe over-spinning counteracted the earth’s ever-worsening irregular orbit, so on the whole, it turned out ok.
Australia, the young man knew,
Held many things for him to do
And proud Brazil, whose flag was green,
Was filled with things that he had seen
He’d studied well the Paris streets
Some day, he said, he’d visit Greece
A wanderer, he called himself
Exploring books upon his shelf
Gazelle raised her royal head. “Having overcome the Lioness, our foe, you will now be granted your reward.”
Rhino nodded graciously. “I thank thee,” he rumbled.
Gazelle signalled Monkey, who draped a necklace of brown jasper around Rhino’s prodigious neck.
Rhino smiled softly. The stones matched his lovely Lioness’s eyes.
Rammy won the 2011 Valentine’s Day contest with the following entry:
Of course they look alike; they’re sisters.
Coincidentally, I met them on Valentine’s Day and immediately fell in love, and now they live with me.
It was through a want ad: “New in town. Looking for friends, a litter box, and meow mix.”
I named my kittens Always and Forever.
Rammy Meyerowitz is a Puzzle Person and a Cultural Marginal, as well as a jewish atheist and a secular humanist.