The Lime Bandit was finally in handcuffs.
As they tossed him in the police car, they struggled to discover the origin behind his namesake (his crimes were never lime-related at all) but he just laughed.
They would find out soon enough; the strategically hidden tick nests would be mature soon.
Brandon is an undergraduate student with no online presence whatsoever. He’ll start up a webcomic eventually, though. How’s that for dedication?
My life is like a bowl of oatmeal. It’s bland, grey, and kind of lumpy, only becoming bearable when I pile on the brown sugar.
Unlike the rest, the “brown sugar” part isn’t a metaphor. I crave the stuff constantly, by the bowlful.
Ironically, I’m kind of a bitter person.
This story is based on a title suggested by @cthomlan.
“Hello?”
“Hey man.” I could hear Marv’s half-baked grin through the phone.
I sighed. “Fall off the wagon again?”
“Kinda! I’m still sober, but I broke my hip falling off a hay ride, and I’m suing big! Awesome, eh? Gonna miss some meetings.”
Being Marv’s sponsor drove me to drink.
This story was based on the TypeTrigger prompt “falling off the.”
“It’s a sand witch!” I shouted. “Run!”
My warning came too late. She caught us in her magical snares and turned us into camels.
It took three years to escape, and two more to find a wizard who could change us back. On the upside, I kept the water retention.
This story was based on the TypeTrigger prompt “it’s a sandwich.”
“Hello, nurse.”
“Good morning!”
“What’s on the menu today?”
“Appendix removal with side salad is on special, and Doctor Jones is whipping up his homemade double bypass.”
“Sounds wonderful, but I’m on a budget today. I’ll take a half-order of hip replacement, please.”
“Certainly. Don’t forget to tip your orderly!”
This story is based on a title suggested by @Invariel.
“And so we have decided to form the Union of General Labourers,” Sarah declared.
“Ha!” scoffed her boss. “What leverage do you think you’ll have? Are you going to threaten a work stoppage? That would hurt you more than it would hurt me! Good luck keeping all those babies in!”
“Do you have Polygons for sale?”
“Certainly, sir!”
“Excellent. They’re just what I need to solve my problem. You see, lately it’s felt like part of me is missing…”
“Very strange. And you think new Polygons will help?”
“Probably not, but I hope they’ll at least solve my parrot infestation.”
“No one listens. NO ONE EVER LISTENS!!”
In the corner, several people were cowering. “Are you going to let us go?”
The irate tuxedoed gentleman whirled in fury, brandishing a handgun. “No!” he cried. “Ignorant fools. Listen. Appreciate. Learn. Grow.”
The captives cringed as the musician bent over his glockenspiel.
This story is based on a title suggested by @Jillers.
“You have been a great comfort to me, softening the hard times and cushioning the blows. Without your support, I would have found it much more challenging to sleep on so many difficult nights.”
With these words, and a waterfall of tears, I eulogized my dear, old friend, the sofa.
“You must sue,” said Bernard.
“Do I have to? I’m not feeling all that litigious.”
Bernard scratched his head. He had never had such a stubborn client before. “I’m afraid it’s your only option,” he repeated.
“Really?”
“Yes, you must, Sue. You see, I am wearing my law suit today.”
This story was based on a title suggested by Timothy Maness.