“Where have you been?” they demanded, leaning out of their windows in pajamas and nightgowns. “Did you get lost? Did you think it was funny?”
They hadn’t seen the moon in over a week!
Moon peeked over the horizon at her dearly beloved, the sun, and hid a contented blush.
“Darling Cynthia, please give me just one more chance!”
“Why should I settle for an imperfect suitor?” sniffed Cynthia. “You answered a question wrong!”
“I’ll change my answer! I’ll change anything! Just tell me how!”
Cynthia considered. “Fine, one more chance. After all, I am the fairest of them all.”
This story is based on a title suggested by @Sir_Oddington.
After long days of deposits, withdrawals, and balance inquiries they often felt dirty when they got home, so they liked to race each other to the bathroom to play the “Who Can Get the Cleanest?” game.
She always claimed she had won, but he liked to make her prove it.
Editor’s Note: Did you spot the double pun in the title?
Jimmy always brought tater tots to school. Worse, he flaunted them.
That made him a target.
Ryan drew the plans up, Kevin swiped the locker keys, Megan played the decoy, and Aiden prepped the route to the hideout.
But Brandon forgot to bring the ketchup, so they tattled on him.
This story is based on a title suggested by a participant in a 50-word stories live-writing session.
He fell to his knees and held his hands to his chest, praying earnestly to the Lord.
He sobbed and cursed as they lowered the casket into the ground.
The nurse gently took his arm and led him back inside.
“Don’t worry, Mr. Fredrickson,” she said. “We’ll get you another goldfish.”
Laura Chester is a sixth form student hoping to go to university to study Creative Writing.
“Our customer service is our greatest asset!” Rosco explained to the customer.
“That’s sort of a… strange slogan for a toilet paper wholesaler,” the woman suggested hesitantly.
“We don’t wipe your bottoms for you or anything,” Rosco clarified.
She looked relieved.
He added, “But we do offer complimentary instructional videoconferencing!”
“Granny, can I borrow your–”
“Hush, child,” said Granny Gramgrams. “West Fallingdown is on!”
Sonny was forced to construct his denture polisher without reference to actual dentures.
Later tests were… “unsuccessful.” But the polisher’s severe over-spinning counteracted the earth’s ever-worsening irregular orbit, so on the whole, it turned out ok.
Gazelle raised her royal head. “Having overcome the Lioness, our foe, you will now be granted your reward.”
Rhino nodded graciously. “I thank thee,” he rumbled.
Gazelle signalled Monkey, who draped a necklace of brown jasper around Rhino’s prodigious neck.
Rhino smiled softly. The stones matched his lovely Lioness’s eyes.
Daniel earned runner up honours in the Valentine’s Day contest with this story:
I am a robot in love with a human.
One day she walked past.
“Level of fine: incalculable.”
She be like, “Oh please, honey, you a robot.”
I said, “Be my Valentine, and I will love you always and forever.”
“I’ll pass.”
I pinched her booty and she left me.
Daniel Watson graduated from Florida State University last April with a degree in English creative writing and philosophy. He now lives in Greenville, South Carolina, where he is a project proposal editor for a corporation called Fluor.
Editor’s Note: For the best experience, try reading this story out loud to someone while doing character voices!
“Hello, my friend!” twinkled Sir William Glowingsmile. “How are we this fine evening?”
Captain Scowlyface glared at the pompous fancypants so sourly that Glowingsmile turned around and took a swig of mouthwash.
“I see,” Sir William continued. “And your wife?”
Captain Scowlyface frowned so menacingly that Glowingsmile’s toupee fell off.