Category Archives: Odd

WALTER CAMPBELL: Apocalypse

Odd, Submissions, Touching, , , , , ,

I know this guy who saves puppies. He hears the world’s gonna end. He doesn’t believe it, he’s not religious, but he wants it to be true. When it doesn’t happen, he’s depressed.

So was I. I was depressed because the guy who saves puppies wants the world to end.

Walter Campbell lives and works in Philadelphia, went to school in New England, and grew up in LA, but he’ll write pretty much anywhere. Recently, his work has been published in Jersey Devil, Six Sentences, Dogzplot, MicroHorror, Toasted Cheese, and Glossolalia.

Painting the Night Sky

Amusing, Odd, Touching, , , , , , ,

He didn’t know it worked: one night he’d simply pointed at the sky, and a star had appeared, bright and new.

It was a great party trick, of course, and it stimulated his inner artist, but he didn’t fully harness the potential of his god-like ability until he went commercial.

Ramone’s Social Circles

Amusing, Odd, , , , ,

Ramone had a very diverse selection of friends. He enjoyed spending time with Havarti, Provolone, Mozzarella, and Brie.

He didn’t get along that well with Cheddar or Feta, but Gouda was fun.

Ramone’s mom told him, “Cheeses can’t be real friends,” but he knew better.

Oh yes, he knew better.

ANDREW BLACK: My Monster

Artistic, Odd, Submissions, , , , , ,

A monster slouched past my apartment window last night, its shoulder on the thirty-fifth floor. I tried to get its attention, but it just skulked onward towards the west.

This morning I woke up early to check the news. There was no mention of my monster. I was sadly disappointed.

Andrew Black is a writer of weird fiction and has had stories featured in anthologies by May December Publications and SNM Horror Magazine. Andrew has a blog with news of the weird and tips for writing at maskofreason.wordpress.com.

Looking for a Special Kind of Woman

Amusing, Odd, , , , , , , , ,

I asked Mom once why I had an uncle but no aunt. I figured they were a bundle deal.

Mom said, “Your uncle has three defining characteristics: veiny biceps, chest hair, and a fanny pack full of beef jerky.”

I still don’t know which of those is the bad thing.

Which One is a Pig?

Odd, , , , , , , , ,

“Pick a pig,” said the farmer. “Oh, Pig 3’s half price.”

Suzanna surveyed the oinking, grunting shapes wallowing in the sty. “Are you sure they’re all actually pigs?”

“‘Course I’m sure. I ain’t no swindler!”

“I only ask,” said Suzanna, “because Pig 3 looks like a stump with a tape recorder.”

This story is based on a title suggested by Michelle Sevenhuysen via Facebook.

Gus the Goofy Gopher

Amusing, Odd, , , , ,

Like many other runty rodents, Gus had an entirely undeserved nickname.

“Goofy Gopher,” his mom had affectionately called him. But the weasels found out.

Gus’s father said, “Reappropriate it. Go into stand-up. Make a name for yourself. Show them up.”

But it turned out Gus’s jokes just weren’t very funny.

The Curse of Planet X

Odd, , , , , ,

“Where are we?” grumbled Trim, rolling out of bed.

“Planet X!” enthused Portly.

“What!? Why?!”

“I dunno,” said Portly. “It’s a ‘forbidden fruit’ thing, I guess.”

“But don’t you know about the Curse?”

“What curse?” said Portly.

Trim groaned haggardly. “Now we’ll never be able to recite the alphabet again!”

This story is based on a title suggested by @keab42.

 

The Particular Conundrum of Constable X

Odd, Touching, , , , , ,

Constable X was an enigma to Constables Murphy and McDonough.

The Captain said Constable X worked solo because he’d lost partners before.

Something didn’t feel right about that, so they did a bit of prying.

Turned out he slept in his office all day.

And donned a mask at night.

This story is based on a title suggested by @MisterFiendZero.

The Day I Met a Tyrannosaurus X

Odd, , , , , , ,

Evolution happens.

I found that out for certain the day I met a Tyrannosaurus X.

He had weak eyes, massive jaws, and stubby little arms.

He was cold-blooded. Scaly-skinned. Exclusively carnivorous.

I was intrigued. I asked for a blood sample. He roared.

He was the missing link, the old fossil.

This story was based on a title suggested by @Tally_LRR.