Billy Goat was waiting in the yard when Mrs. Wolf came strolling by with her son in a stroller.
“Good morning,” said Mrs. Wolf.
“Have you seen my squirrel?” said Billy, icily.
“Your little pet?” Something inside the stroller squeaked desperately. “Ah,” said Mrs. Wolf. “Well, boys will be boys!”
We killed nearly the entire frog population that summer, Matt with the bat, me with the hoe. Years later I read in the obits that Matt died choking on frog legs. Why was that detail in the obits? Only I knew about the frogs. Fate? Nope, bound to happen eventually.
CS DeWildt’s stories appear on Bartleby Snopes, Word Riot, The Bicycle Review, Mobius Magazine, Writer’s Bloc, and The Foundling Review. His novella Candy and Cigarettes is available at http://www.vagabondagepress.com/bookstore.html.
“No one listens. NO ONE EVER LISTENS!!”
In the corner, several people were cowering. “Are you going to let us go?”
The irate tuxedoed gentleman whirled in fury, brandishing a handgun. “No!” he cried. “Ignorant fools. Listen. Appreciate. Learn. Grow.”
The captives cringed as the musician bent over his glockenspiel.
This story is based on a title suggested by @Jillers.
“Don’t forget your keys, dear.”
“Yes, mom.”
“Can you recite them for me, just to be sure?”
“Yes, mother… Patience. Perseverance. Perspective. Practicality. Proactivity.”
“Precisely! Oh, my brilliant, handsome young man. You’re going to make a great dictionary engineer.”
“Sure, unless they assign me somewhere other than the P division.”
Kevin clung desperately to the lip of the mile-high cliff, wondering which of today’s six poor choices had been most to blame for his predicament.
His sweat-slick palms gave way, and too late he noticed the ledge he could have dropped safely onto.
So, the seventh mistake, then.
Every night the elves secretly finished the cobbler’s work.
The intricate yet sturdy shoes became very popular.
The king heard about this and the cobbler was called to the castle to make royal shoes.
Unfortunately he didn’t know how to prepare that style himself.
In the end he was beheaded.
This story came to Rammy in his three-quarter sleep.
“I’m the best hyperbolizer in the world.”
“Stop exaggerating.”
“Have you ever heard of anyone else like me? I’m a world-famous big-talker, man! One of a kind!”
“There’s only one thing you could claim you’re famous for, and that’s the size of your head.”
“Yep! Biggest noggin there ever was!”
This story is based on the prompt “hyperbolic” at TypeTrigger.
Jennifer awoke in the lion enclosure, drowsy and confused.
She’d just rested her eyes for a few seconds in the library, awash in a sea of dull economics textbooks. How and why was she here?
She shrugged her new shoulders, flicked her tail, and padded softly out into the sunlight.
Jeremy is a shambling mess of unkempt hair and caffeine-induced twitches, currently based in Southampton in the UK. He doesn’t have a website of his own, but would like to direct people towards the band he’s involved with at http://www.thebluescreenofdeath.co.uk/ and their music video he starred in.
This shirt, this wonderful, beautiful shirt, has magic powers; its wearer, they say, will always gain his heart’s desires.
They also say that it’s invisible to those with evil in their hearts, but that doesn’t bother me at all. I don’t need to see it to know that it’s working.
Cynthia theatrically flung open the wardrobe. “Well?”
After an awkward pause, Greg said, “It’s…”
“I know! Isn’t it?” enthused Cynthia.
Greg paused. He wasn’t actually sure what he had been going to say. “It” was some kind of all-of-the-neons polka-dotted dress thing. “Yes,” he managed at last, “it really is.”