She took some pills that were supposed to Improve Her Quality of Life.
They didn’t.
She brought them back to the pharmacy. The pharmacist took the bottle, said, “Your loss,” and swallowed the rest of the pills.
It didn’t work for the pharmacist either.
They sued the manufacturer. That worked.
“I’m insane,” declared Carmen.
“Oh, I don’t think so,” said her doctor bemusedly.
“I insist,” said Carmen. “I’m one-hundred percent crazy.”
“Are you hoping to get a prescription of some sort?”
“What, like a cheeseburger or something?”
“Ah, I see,” said the doctor. “You aren’t insane; you’re hungry.”
“Right. That.”
“Stop biting your nails!” said Mom.
“Sorry,” mumbled Jackson.
“You’re still doing it!” said Mom.
“Whoops,” mumbled Jackson.
“Honestly, child, you’re hopeless! Am I going to have to take your nails away and put them back in the cupboard?” said Mom. “They’re for hammering, not chewing! You’ll break your teeth!”
Jakob had an idea. It was a stupendous idea, a marvelous idea, a fabulous idea.
Unfortunately, he couldn’t remember what it was.
He asked his garbage man. He asked his barber. He asked a woman at the grocery store. They couldn’t remember, either.
Jakob’s dog knew, but she wasn’t telling.
Dear Mister Mayor,
I wish that you would make it a holiday on every day. It would be a Great Idea.
Sincerely,
Timmy
***
Dear Timmy,
You’re right! Why didn’t I think of that? You’re a genius! I submitted the legislation this afternoon and it went into effect immediately.
Sincerely,
The Mayor
Mouse hid in the dark corner. The piece of bread laying on the floor looked like a complete meal to the starving mammal.
Fear set aside, ready to jump into the world feet first, he blindly took his chance.
Cat had its dinner, slurping the tail like a spaghetti noodle.
Sabrina Hicks has a passion for writing and animal rights. Besides writing she donates time at animal shelters and now owns three dogs, one cat, and a bird.
Henderson Michaelthromp knew a lot of facts. He read encyclopedias, record books, travel brochures, even Hansards.
No one ever seemed impressed, even when he knew the average lifespan of a diabetic macaw.
Then one day Henderson knew just the right facts to save a little girl’s life. And he did.
The genie gave him three wishes.
He wished he could fly.
The genie granted his wish, so he flew and flew and flew.
He wished he could land.
The genie granted his wish, so he fell and fell and fell.
He wished he could survive the fall.
The genie winked.
“Honeybuns, could I have that stapler? Thanks!”
“Honeybuns, could you grab me a pen? Thank you!”
“Honeybuns, could you stand up so I can scrape some honey off your bum onto my toast? Much appreciated!”
Ever since an ironic factory accident, Mr. Honeybuns had become much more popular at office.
A raccoon, a wolf, and a bighorn sheep sat down for a cup of tea.
The kettle burned out, which made the wolf shout, “Woe, I say, woe unto me!”
Catastrophe brewed: the tea-less wolf stewed. (He was addicted, you see).
The raccoon knew kung-fu. Don’t ask about the sheep.
This story was inspired by a prompt from @Aeric90, who responded to a request for three mammals with wolf, raccoon, and bighorn sheep.